Call me Jax teller

I'd like to start off my last post with saying thank you, thank you to Nelson for creating this awesome class. It really helped me get my mind off school and all of the other crazy things and focus on something else. And thank you to all of the amazing writers who gave me inspiration on my writing, and I really enjoyed reading a lot of your posts. And thank you to all of those who read my blog, it means a lot.

If you really knew me you would know that my best friend is a dog, a Springer Spaniel to be exact and she's the greatest best friend in the whole entire world. 

If you really knew me you would know that I get really nervous getting up in front of people and talking.

If you really knew me you would know that I'm a completely different person out side the doors of Lone Peak.

If you really knew me you would know that my family is everything to me and I would be lost with out them.

Well if you don't know me, I'll tell you some things so you can get a better picture of me in your head.

I like to read

I could never hurt any living thing on this earth

Art is my passion, there's nothing like pulling out some water colors and blasting music and getting lost in my art work

The thing I enjoy most is nature

I love to ride bikes

I love to play sports

I love to run 

My most favorite place on this earth is Newport Beach California 

 I moved here from Italy in the 6th grade

I've never had a cavity 

My favorite movie is Toy Story

That I have a very hard time sitting still

That I love rap music

That I'm TERRIFIED to grow up and begin my own life

That my dream is to become a Psychologist because I just want to help people. 

That my real name is Noah Ghiz

And I was afraid to share that, but I'm not anymore. Because who cares what people think of me.

I remember

I remember you, and how you used to make me feel

I remember my first grade teacher, and how she died from cancer

I remember that nightmare that haunted my dreams each and every night I stayed at your house

I remember the old painting in my sisters room that used to put shivers down my spine

I remember sitting in my grandmas hot tub in the winter with all my cousins and getting dared to go sledding down the golf course hill in nothing but our swim suits and all catching a cold shortly after

I remember my first kiss, and how she was taller than me so I had to stand on the curb so I could reach her

I remember my pet bunny, and how sad I felt when I had to give him away

I remember the last time my older brother talked to me

I remember my first day of school in Utah, and how welcomed I felt

I remember my last conversation with my great grandfather

I remember the first book I ever read

I remember the time my big brother threw a computer speaker at my head and split it open

I also remember the day I got revenge

I remember the day my big bro taught me how to ride a bike without training wheels

I remember the first goal I scored on my little league soccer team and how if the defenders weren't staring off into space I wouldn't of scored the goal

I remember the first time I saw my mom cry and how I cried too

I remember the day my cousin died, and how sad I felt because that was the first time I ever lost someone 

I remember when I broke my ankle 1 hour before prom and how I still went then the next day went to the emergency room

I remember the smell of my old best friends house and how I always hated it

I remember going from 6th grade to junior high and how all of my friends changed 

I remember when I realized what life was really about.

nature

Being out side in nature is probably my favorite thing in the entire world. There's somthing about it, how peaceful it feels and how beautiful it looks. It's sooo amazing just going on a hike or having a camp fire. I don't understand how it all got there, every flower and every piece of grass or every tree was put there for a specific reason. And together its all so beautiful

Things I don't want to do

Things I don't want to do
1. Die
2. Grow up
3. Go to college
4. Move out


Things I'll do
1.die
2.grow up
3. Go to college
4. Move out

Mixed emotions

I'm afraid to die,
Just like I'm afraid to grow up,
Both haunt my thoughts like a ghost haunting the place where his life was taken
I'm afraid to die because I don't want to lose everything I care about, and
Everything I have and will work for. It can all just end, just as quick as a snap
Of your fingers,
I'm Afriad to grow up because of all of the decisions,
Where to go to college, how to pay for college, what I want to do for a career,
How to raise my future family, where to live ect. These thoughts gets louder and louder each day I get
Closer to graduation. I have mixed feelings about graduating, I can't stand school a lot of the time and I want it to end but then again I don't want it to end because that will be the death of my childhood
And that is something I do not want to happen
I know we all have to one day but man has it come quick
It seemed just last week I was running around in a blues clues T-shirt not caring about a GPA or what others think of me.
And I miss that
I miss everything about my child hood
And I miss the loved ones that are not standing here on this earth today
And in the end when I'm thinking my last thoughts, I hope I look back and accept every choice I will make and every accomplishment I have done or will do and I will be happy with the life I have lived

Empty house empty heart

The house is empty.

The fam went on a trip and forgot me

I guess that's okay because they said I belonged in school not Disney land

Without my family here I Feel different

I feel empty 

Waking up each morning with no one to talk to or say good morning to

No goodnight or how was your day

It's just me

Alone